This week really is flying by. Hard to believe it’s already Thursday evening, and the weekend is within reach. Not that I’m living for the weekends… but it hardly feels like there is time enough in the week to do everything I need to get done.
Had a conversation today that was eye-opening in terms of how I’m experiencing my life here these days. I’ve been holding on so much to my knowledge that being here at Baylor and in Waco was where God wants me… I think I thought that just because this is the right place for me, I was required to be happy about it. So, I still am happy, and I really believe there are great things for me here that I haven’t even discovered yet, which is exciting!
But I’m also pretty frustrated, maybe even angry, because the one thing I had committed to myself about in this last transition was that I was NOT going to move to a new city where I didn’t know anyone, didn’t have any community, and would have to start over in establishing familiarity. And now… here I am… in a huge big state where I hardly know anyone, in a culture that feels so foreign to me, and still thousands of miles away from the most precious people in my life.
I guess I thought that I shouldn’t feel both peace and anger at the same time, but now I’m realizing perhaps that’s a flawed perspective. And maybe, it really makes the most sense, that I could be completely content with where my life is, but still disappointed that it isn’t what I thought I wanted. Like a grieving in the midst of joy.
Today I’m thankful for cup a’ noodle, no gas shortage in central Texas, and people who are willing to listen.
So I can look into your eyes when I taste it the first time
And I know there’s no secrets when you’re sitting at that table
But I believe we’ll smile real knowingly when we read the label
And it says “passion sacrificed to keep from going crazy.”
We’ll tip our glasses to the Host who used to look so hazy
And drink it down all sweet and slow and slip inside His mind
And realize as it goes down – this is communion wine.