The few days since terrible Thursday when Niko was found have been a bit better. I still feel on the verge of tears at most times, but for the most part they don’t actually materialize. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, or at least productive. Thursday night I went to the Baylor vs. Wake Forest football game that was pretty sad (at least from a Baylor perspective)… and Friday I did some work and meetings to prep for starting my new job on Tuesday. Since then I’ve hit some garage sales, and spent some time with some soon to be co-workers. I’ve got a huge list of questions I have to ask this week now that I’ve been talking more with folks here. As always, institutional transition can be hard, and I’m anticipating a steep learning curve in learning what are the “important” things at Baylor vs. what was seen as “important” at Santa Clara. Shall be interesting.

This morning I visited a church I’d heard people talk about called Calvary Baptist Church. Would you believe I’ve never actually seen a church use a bathtub in the sanctuary for baptism (I think they actually call it a baptismal). I’ve certainly seen adult/believer’s baptism before, but it’s always been either still a sprinkling or an outdoor ceremony thing. I felt a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I can’t quite pinpoint why. They was also no communion… I can’t remember the last time I went to church where there was no communion.

And… people here are so very friendly. It’s almost strange to experience.

Clementine is really lonely. I think she doesn’t get enough stimulation all day and so she keeps me at night and early in the morning pushing her nose into my face and stepping on my hair. Lovely. The cats never kept me up at all when we were living in Ohio, even though they always slept on my bed. I’m thinking of looking for another cat so she’s not alone, but it feels wrong somehow.

Maybe what I really need is a 5 year old to entertain her all day.

Even through all of this, thankfully I still feel a lot of peace that this is where I’m supposed to be right now.

Niko got hit by a car. I got called about two hours ago about it. The lady who found him said it looks like he just got clipped by a car and probably broke his neck and died instantly. I got a pet crematory to come pick him up and take care of him, but that’s about all I can manage to do. We think he was hit just this morning… maybe he heard me calling for him and came out if his hiding place looking for me… he was only half a block away from my apartment.

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so alone and sad at the same time before.

So… after I got to Waco on Thursday, I left early Saturday morning to fly to California for 4 days to pack up my stuff there, see some people, etc. A kind new friend from Baylor offered to watch the cats while I was gone and so I left them in my new apartment and opened up some windows since there was still no air conditioning.

Anyway, apparently sometime on Sunday night between 9pm and 9am, Niko got out of the apartment. We think he probably fell out the kitchen window (I didn’t realize the screen was unattached on one side) when he lost his balance or something. I can’t imagine him jumping from the 2nd floor, but maybe he meant to get out. In any case, I haven’t been able to look for him, and while Suzanne and others have been doing all kinds of things to try to find him, he still is missing.

At this point, it’s been 72 hours… who knows where he could have gotten to…. and I don’t even know where were he would try to go. He seems like the type that would find a cool dark place and call that “home” since he’s always running back to his safe zones, but there are flyers all over the place and a lost pet posting on Craigslist, but I haven’t heard from anyone who has seen him. He’s not been turned into the Humane Society, but I did look up his micro-chip number so hopefully if he does turn up somewhere I can get him back.

I’m so upset about the whole thing. Partially because I don’t want him to get hurt or go hungry or anything, but also because the cats have been the only constant thing in my life for the last 2 months. I’ve been all over the place, but I always knew the cats would be there when I got home…. and as my place of “home” changed… they always came with me.

Anyway… please, please send all your good pet-finding thoughts to me. I’m hoping that if I get back there and call for him and he recognizes my voice… and walk around the blocks surrounding my apartment. Well… hopefully he’s still there and can be found. Niko is such a sweet kitty… I’d be heartbroken to lose him like this.